Jacqueline Carey / Kushiel’s Dart

sexartandpolitics:

“You despise your patrons a little, and love them too, yes?”

“Yes, my lady.” I sat down in the chair held for me and accepted a glass of joie, eyeing her warily. “A little.”

“And how many of them do you fear?”

I held my glass without sipping, as she did, and answered honestly. “One, at least, not at all. Most of them, sometimes. You, my lady, always.”

The blue of her eyes was like the sky at twilight when the first stars appear. “Good.” Her smile held promises I shuddered to think on. “Be at ease in it, Phedre. This is the Longest Night, and I am in no hurry. You’re not like the others, who are trained to it from birth, like hounds cringing under the whip for a kind touch from their master’s hand. No, you embrace the lash, but even so, there is aught in you that rebels at it. Let others plumb the depths of the former; ‘tis the latter that interests me.”

At that, I did shudder. “I am at my lady’s command.”

“Command.” Melisande held her glass to the light, inspecting the sparkling cordial. “Command is for captains and generals. I have no interest in command. If you would obey, you will discern what pleases me, and do it unasked.” She lifted her glass to me, smiling. “Joy.”

There are going to be a few quotes from these two chapters.

And I must note, the last paragraph is so on point in a way that is all too commonly missed. I don’t know if I’ve ever identified with a fictional character quite so much.