John Pritkin Appreciation Week – Free Day
Pritkin + Aesthetic
“Pritkin might be a hostile son of a bitch, but he was a damn good guy to have in a fight.”
“Who are they?’” “You said it,” she grimaced. “Vampires.” “But whose?” “Whose do you think?” Damn. never told him they could—” “They aren’t Ray’s,” Claire said, looking at me funny. “Whose then?” She put her hands, both of which were back to normal, I was relieved to see, on her hips. “Did you or did you not tell Louis-Cesare that I needed domestic help?” “I…Not in so many words, no.” “Well, he interpreted it that way. They showed up a couple hours ago and took over. So far, they’ve done the laundry, mowed the yard, cleaned the house to within an inch of its life—despite my telling them that the spell would just return everything to the way it was, anyway—shampooed the cats and replanted my marigolds!”“Your marigolds?” “They said the lines weren’t straight enough!” She looked pissed. No one gets points for telling a Virgo that she doesn’t know how to keep house. “Why didn’t you just dismiss them?” I asked. “Oh, now why didn’t I think of that? Because they wouldn’t let me! That vampire sent them to you and you’re the only one who can tell them to go. And that’s exactly what you’re going to do! And then you’re going to march yourself back up here and get a bath—” “I’m doing nothing of the—” “—and then you’re going to get dressed and unpack that ridiculous bag and come downstairs again and we’re all going to have a nice meal, okay? ” “No, it’s not okay. It’s not safe—”
And then Fred came to the rescue. “No, no, no, I got this,” he said, jogging in from the lounge, and talking to someone over his shoulder. “Got what?” I asked warily as he turned to me and grinned. Don’t know why.” Because they’re depressing, I didn’t say, since he was only trying to help. But honestly, who bought black balloons? Fred, apparently, and now he was blowing them up. “Trust me … I used to do this … all the time,” he told me in between breaths. He soon had a cluster of long, skinny tubes, which he then proceeded to tie together using vampire speed. One second, there was a depressing bunch of cylinders, and the next … It was worse. The kids were glancing at each other, like they didn’t know what to make of it, either. But Fred looked hopeful. And then he started moving his creation up and down, so that the tortured appendages hanging off either side flopped about in a dying-bird sort of way. One of the littlest girls made a sound and hid her face.“Fred,” I began, trying to figure out how to say please stop without hurting his feelings. And then one of the guys solved the problem for me. “What the fu—uh, heck?” “Leo,” Roy said, frowning at him from beside the bar. “What? I said heck. And look at that thing.” “What is it?” another guy asked. “A spider?” “A bat, obviously,” Fred said. And flapped it about some more, on the theory, I assume, that he just hadn’t been vigorous enough the first time. “Freakiest thing I ever saw,” the vamp mumbled. “Freakiest?” Roy dropped ice into a glass. “You haven’t been here long enough.” “Then why does it feel that way?” “I have more,” Fred said, finally realizing that his distraction was not a hit. “A lot more. I used to make these all the time—well, the pig bladder kind—” “But were any of them any good?” Leo asked. Fred stopped to glare at him, while Roy assessed his latest attempt. “What is that?” “It’s a clown!” “Oh, demonic clown. Great choice.” gift from someone I cared about, so I just never had. Plus, they had a charm on them I thought the girls might like. It had proven oddly accurate at reading the atmosphere around a situation and giving advice in the form of a pertinent card. And sure enough, practically as soon as I touched them, one popped up. A black one. A black one with a leering devil on it.Well, shit.
My toes slid lower, across satiny skin and crisp hair to a velvety hardness that jumped eagerly under my touch. I felt a little clumsy—I wasn’t nearly as dexterous as with my hands—but my foot was surprisingly sensitive. I hadn’t expected to feel … quite so much. My own breath picked up a little as I went exploring, sliding my toes slowly up and down that rigid column. And I guess I must have gotten something right, because it swelled impossibly bigger under my touch. “That isn’t …” He stopped and licked his lips. “That isn’t going to work.” I laughed. “Yeah. That was convincing.” Particularly since Mircea could put a halt to this at any time. Unlike a human male, a vampire has perfect blood control. He could have willed all that lovely hardness away, could have refused to play. But that would have been admitting defeat, pretend wasn’t there, would never permit. So I gently fondled the superb length of him, so thick, so silky soft, so good against my skin. And sighed. “This isn’t going to get you anywhere, either,” I was informed tightly. “That’s okay.” I ran a single digit over the smooth head, watching it blush like a girl in pleasure. “I’m pretty comfortable where I am.”
Deleted Scene Hunt the Moon
I yawned again, because the damn coffee was weak as water, and tried to think. “I don’t know,” I finally told him. “There were at least four or five, but there could have been six or even more. It was hard to tell. Like you said, they were freaking Weebles.”
“Weebles?” Caleb looked confused. “I didn’t say anything about Weebles.”
“Evil Weebles,” Fred added.
“What the hell are Weebles?”
“You know, those little round toy things?” I said. “They wobble but they don’t—never mind.” Deleted scene but just too cool to keep to myself
I think that was about the time I gave up on logic and just decided to go with the flow. If I was lucky, someone had spiked my drink and I was hallucinating