Having trouble sleeping?
I suffer from insomnia. I have since Jerome died. I just can’t sleep well without him. But, that means I’ve tried a little of absolutely EVERY thing. Drugs, both over the counter and prescription, Various hypnosis, yoga breathing techniques. Tiring myself out until I can’t see straight. Drinking tea. Anyways, the point is that for the first time in a very long time I found something that works. I fall asleep in the first 15 minutes, and I wake up about 8 hours later with energy to spare. This has done more for me in the past few nights than I can say. so try it! https://youtu.be/kS-p2NOrEmI
“See…we’ve all been wounded.” Goddess, what an understatement. “We’ve all been violated. Me, Adrian, Cory, Renny—hell, even Nicky, and now you. It’s what happens when you’re given great gifts—wonderful, amazing, beautiful gifts. Great buggering git asshole fuckheads always want to steal those gifts for themselves. Being wounded means you held on, that’s all. Being wounded means you can heal. If we live long enough with these gifts, and we’re not wounded, it means we’re probably like Mist and Morana and Sezan and Goshawk and hell, even Titania and Oberon, although I didn’t know either of them more than to give them the best fuck available at court, right? If we’re not capable of being hurt, then we’re not good enough people to deserve the Goddess’s gifts in the first place. If you don’t know that you have something to lose, then maybe you deserve to lose it, and Blessed Father, Holy Mother, Beloved Son, all of us know what we have to lose, because we’ve all lost it at one time or another and none of us wants to feel that pain again…” And then he couldn’t speak anymore, because Bracken, who didn’t want to be touched, had pulled Green into his arms, and every vow Green had made not to weep anymore for his lost freedom and violated faith fell at his feet with his brother’s tears. Both of them held there, still, clenched together so tightly their muscles ached. And they held, and held, and held, until they could breathe freely and look clearly and know that neither of them would be weeping soon again. With an unspoken word, they both pulled back and resumed their human male posture on the couch, the screen.
Experiencing a dilemma
I’ve never faced before. Frankly I’m tired of love triangles. Mostly because there’s an obvious choice of who the main character’s gonna choose; mostly the reason there’s even a hint of competition is because the girl doesn’t want to hurt the non-chosen guy:
Jace or Simon—duh, Jace wins
Edward or Jacob–duh, Edward wins
Dimitri or Adrian–duh, Dimitri wins
Adam or Samuel–duh, Adam wins
Peeta or Gale–duh, Peeta wins
Barrons or V’laine–duh, Barrons wins
Bones or Tate–duh, Bones wins
Vlad or Maximus–duh, Vlad wins
And countless other I can’t even remember right now. Granted The Infernal Devices took a novel approach and has the main character get to be with both the men she loved (even though it was obvious she really really loved Will–and if forced to choose I think she would have chosen him in the end, but she got both)
My problem is: the Cassandra Palmer series.
One the one hand there’s Mircea who I admitted wasn’t in love with to begin with, but now…after everything I’ve read (including the Dorina Basarab series) I like him. I want him to be happy. I want him to be Cassie because he wants to be with her and she wants to be with him. I like him. Although I’m not too happy about where we were left with him in Tempt the Stars. I hope he’s not going to just abandon her. That doesn’t seem like the kind of man he is.
On the other hand, there’s Pritkin who I’ve kinda adored since book two, Claimed by Shadows. And my adoration for him has only gotten worse as the series has progressed. I absolutely love him. And I do think he’s gonna be the endgame. But I’m not sure.
And I’m torn.
Therein lies the problem.
I’ve never liked both of the guys for a single girl in a series. I may like a guy like say for instance Simon, but I never liked him for Clary. For Izzy, he’ll yeah, but never for Clary.
I want both Mircea and Pritkin for Cassie and I don’t know what to think.
Aaaggghh.
SO, I keep rereading this post. And I get the overall point, even those of us that “like” both the men in Cassie’s life equally have favorites. Sometimes, those favorites change from scene to scene but we have favorites. So, who do we root for? How do we want it to end…Well, I’m just gonna root for Cassie and however messily it ends up, as long as she’s happy I’ll be good…
But for the list at the beginning, I gotta say something. I am very happy for this writer that all choices seem crystal clear. For the rest of us, sometimes we don’t know who we are going to pick until after it has happened. Or, if you are me, it sometimes was one person on one read but the next time its someone else…
So, maybe, its mutable. Maybe, for some like Cat and Bones I didn’t even remember there was someone else. But for each one of those, I have an Anita Blake, or a Merry or a Corinne Carol-Anne Kirkpatrick. And there are messy crazy solutions.
And I don’t see Cassie going the way of the many loved. At least I don’t think so. But I’ll just keep reminding myself that I’m rooting for Cassie…and being mutable
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Oh, Adrian. You bastard—you were supposed to be immortal. How could you leave me alone like this? The pain was devastating, obliterating, too huge to even contemplate, and yet it was there, crushing the breath out of my chest. I inhaled on purpose, and my very breath hurt. I screamed, sobbed, felt that amputated link between us, and knew that Adrian wouldn’t be there and never would again.
Some Thoughts on Cassie
So, I got two of my friends who read the same kind of stuff that I do to start the Karen Chance books. And they, of course love them…But, they are working their way slowly though them. They have almost caught up to the reread. They obviously don’t compulsively read like I do. I swear to g-d text to speech was an evil invention. I used to have to put the book down to do things like brush my teeth, wash my hair, or cook. Now, I have headphones or a stupid bluetooth speaker. Although it does allow my children to get more regular meals that DO NOT revolve around Laurell K Hamilton or Karen Chance’s publishing schedule…
So, I keep getting these hysterical texts as things happen in the Cassie Palmer world. From random questions to OMG. And of late, I’ve been getting a lot of the OMG variety. They have gotten to the geis and the trip to Fairie. And then to the final duel with Dracula. And I found myself laughing last night at the following text:
OMG Bram Stoker was a Human Servant! WTF! Then, awww so the incubus waited all that time for Dracula? How sweet
My response to the last was Have you ever read Dracula? OK, not sure where I was going with all that…Just chalk it up to my random tangent
But back to my original message, or at least thought. Cassie is not a victim. Sometimes, we forget that she ran away at 14 and returned, of her own volition, to make Tony pay. And then lived in a house with Vampires while she worked tirelessly to destroy what Tony loved most: his money. And hid it. And then ran with government protection. She survived the death of her governess. and then ran successfully for three years. I gotta say, she’s got some chops. That’s at the beginning.
She’s got a voice and she learns to use it. Everyone wants control of her, but somehow, she ends up with a family that includes everyone from the crazy incubus Cassanova to Marco to Pritkin to, yes, Mircea! She takes the guards who come to her and makes them HERS. Cassie is never going to be Agnes. Agnes was raised in the system and a part of it. And her life was compartmentalized, even though she fell in love with her body guard, Jonas. and oh what a love that must have been- Ley line racing and trips though time. But when we see Agnes in other times, she’s alone. And a secret pregnancy to boot! Cassie knows how to hide. She knows how to run. She knows how to win.
Yes, she sometimes gets buffeted by the strong winds of the personalities around her. And remember, we are in her head. And sometimes we get her insecurities bleeding through. But no matter what comes, she copes as best she can. And that’s better than 99% of the population! She learns, she quietly assimilates. She fucking conquers! Her life is messy. I can’t see her making her life fit in boxes. I can’t see her without Mircea’s family, which is becoming hers. I have this image in my head of some of the mansions in Vegas. The really awesome ones that have every possible luxury and themed bedrooms. Almost like an MTV tricked out house for Real World. But I can’t see Cassie, Tami and the kids from the schools living quietly in the suburbs with a mixed security force of vamps and mages. I don’t know where I see her, but…
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