Devon Monk Quote
“It’s the knitters. They’ve declared war. And the crocheters are geared up for the siege.” Pause. “What now?” “The knitters. You know. The K.I.N.K.s and C.O.C.K.s.” Jean barked out a laugh and set off into a howling giggle fit. “Uhng…huh?” was the only thing I had to offer. Ryder coughed, and then laughed, a deep, warm sound that made me want to press myself closer to him so I could wallow in the joy there. Even Shoe and Hatter chuckled. Roy, just shook his head. “You’re all children.” Bathin wasn’t laughing, but he intently took in our reactions. He almost looked pleased. Which, okay, I hadn’t known him for even a day yet, but I would have expected him to be sort of into pain and suffering, not a bunch of people laughing over a couple acronyms. “Delaney,” Bertie scolded. “This is serious.” “Right. Yes. Serious. Okay. So the knitters, that’s the K.I.N.K.s?” Bertie nodded. “The K.I.N.K.s have threatened the C.O.C.Ks?” “Woulda’ thought they’d be into that,” Hatter delivered deadpan. “Did they forget their safeword?” Shoe asked. Jean’s howl turned into a hissy wheeze. Both men grinned at her reaction. She waved at them, trying to make them stop. Bertie arched her eyebrows. “Perhaps we should head to the engagement before the members get out of hand and things take a turn for the worseNope. She’d started this. And Hatter wasn’t going to miss a chance to make Jean choke on her tongue. “If you’re hard up, Shoe and I can whip those C.O.C.Ks into shape. Shoe’s got lots of practice. He can whip C.O.C.K. with one hand tied behind his back. I hear he likes it that way.” Shoe nodded, his serious expression unyielding. “Hatter has a lot of experience with K.I.N.K. He’s a master at dominating those kinds of situations.” Jean wrapped her good arm across her ribs and whispered. “Hurts. Stop. Oh, gods.”
Devon Monk, Gods and Ends
Gods and Ends (Ordinary Magic) (Volume 3)
Ordinary Magic
Paranormal Romance
306 pages
Keep your gods close and your monsters closer... Police Chief Delaney Reed thinks she knows all of Ordinary, Oregon’s secrets. Gods on vacation, lovelorn ghosts, friendly neighborhood monsters? Check. But some secrets run deeper than even she knows. To take down an ancient vampire hell-bent on revenge, she will have to make the hardest decision of her life: give up the book of dark magic that can destroy them all, or surrender her mortal soul. As she weighs her options, Delaney discovers she can no longer tell the difference between allies keeping secrets and enemies telling the truth. Questioning loyalties and running out of time, Delaney must choose sides before a kidnapping turns into murder, before rival crochet and knit gangs start a war, and before the full moon rises to signal the beginning of Ordinary’s end.
And then Fred came to the rescue. “No, no, no, I got this,” he said, jogging in from the lounge, and talking to someone over his shoulder. “Got what?” I asked warily as he turned to me and grinned. Don’t know why.” Because they’re depressing, I didn’t say, since he was only trying to help. But honestly, who bought black balloons? Fred, apparently, and now he was blowing them up. “Trust me … I used to do this … all the time,” he told me in between breaths. He soon had a cluster of long, skinny tubes, which he then proceeded to tie together using vampire speed. One second, there was a depressing bunch of cylinders, and the next … It was worse. The kids were glancing at each other, like they didn’t know what to make of it, either. But Fred looked hopeful. And then he started moving his creation up and down, so that the tortured appendages hanging off either side flopped about in a dying-bird sort of way. One of the littlest girls made a sound and hid her face.“Fred,” I began, trying to figure out how to say please stop without hurting his feelings. And then one of the guys solved the problem for me. “What the fu—uh, heck?” “Leo,” Roy said, frowning at him from beside the bar. “What? I said heck. And look at that thing.” “What is it?” another guy asked. “A spider?” “A bat, obviously,” Fred said. And flapped it about some more, on the theory, I assume, that he just hadn’t been vigorous enough the first time. “Freakiest thing I ever saw,” the vamp mumbled. “Freakiest?” Roy dropped ice into a glass. “You haven’t been here long enough.” “Then why does it feel that way?” “I have more,” Fred said, finally realizing that his distraction was not a hit. “A lot more. I used to make these all the time—well, the pig bladder kind—” “But were any of them any good?” Leo asked. Fred stopped to glare at him, while Roy assessed his latest attempt. “What is that?” “It’s a clown!” “Oh, demonic clown. Great choice.” gift from someone I cared about, so I just never had. Plus, they had a charm on them I thought the girls might like. It had proven oddly accurate at reading the atmosphere around a situation and giving advice in the form of a pertinent card. And sure enough, practically as soon as I touched them, one popped up. A black one. A black one with a leering devil on it.Well, shit.